Tonights Thanksgiving Dinner

Was a hit. Very simple food, I'm not a chef or anything, but here's what we had:

Turkey, 14lbs. Time of death very recent, cause was listed as suspected tastiness. This years bird was ordered from Rowe Farms to avoid the insanity of St. Lawrence market and the creepiness of trying to find an antibiotic-free/grain fed frozen carcass among the "pre-basted" versions in the supermarkets. Pre-basted? With what? How? Get the fuck out of my kitchen, Corporation X.

• Bird was rinsed and innards removed. Innards were a perky display of unrecognizable organs which have been put aside for further study. Stuffing was 2 celery stalks, one onion and 6 pieces of diced rye bread with salt and pepper, jammed into said unfortunate bird. Bird placed chest down in the roasting pan. I do this because then you don't (so long as you keep the lid on) have to bast it. No, you don't get the golden brown skin or the picture perfect display - but who cares. Tasty, zero stress and saves time. Actually gives more time for socializing or reading or FB'ing or getting drunk. Moving on.
• Acorn squash, roasted with butter to a light brown and then mashed with more butter and a (small) sprinkle of brown sugar.
• Carrots, sliced and steamed.
• This bit of the family likes tinned jellied cranberries, which is just horrible. I managed to get it out of the tin with the ridges intact and served it garnished with a celery sprig. And a side of shame. We will not speak of the potatoes.
• Gravy made using turkey drippings scooped with a micro ladle from the roasting pan, 2.5 cups worth. (I know turkey basters exist but they just seem unhygienic.) Heated drippings in a pan and added a splash of wooster sauce and some salt/pepper. Mixed a few fistfuls of organic white(ish) flour with some cold water, then mixed this into the pan as well. Stirred maniacally for about 3 min and voila - gravy.

The carnivores at the table attested to the tastiness of the unfortunate turkey and said gravy. And all veg was consumed with glee. Realized half way through that I hadn't made a salad or supplied rolls, feeling a pang of host guilt before refilling my glass. Guests brought pumpkin pie and something called "nuttie butties" which turn out to be pre-packaged ice cream drumsticks. So not all good and glorious real food but up to that point we were a local version of healthy. With more butter than would be usually recommended, likely. Anywho, that's a handful of barely understandable Thanksgiving recipes for y'all.