Remains of the Port

Weddings, marriage and anniversaries - a wandering train of thought nearly derails

2011-06-20T10:15:00.000-04:00

Alone, we are an inglorious mixture of lonely chemicals. With friends and family, we're human beings and the difference is love. One type of human love is romantic and one way to celebrate it, which is most certainly not for everyone, is marriage.

I say it's not for everyone because marriage requires more from us by way of tolerance, tenacity, trust, devotion, communication and strength than is naturally occurring in our soup of an existence. We must be bold to seize love but it takes a lasting courage and fortitude to hold tight. And both people in a marriage must be equal to the task, or it won't work - one person can't carry a marriage. It's too god damned heavy. But two people can do it, if they're willing to become exceptionally good, their most exceptionally brave selves. And marriage makes that happen.

It's not easy, but it's fun. A good marriage is the continuation of a wedding celebration, a long conversation that always seems too short, a dance of give and take and give and share and turn and spin and dip. There is no single recipe that will work for all persons but there are common factors that must exist, in whatever measure necessary. Respect, communication, trust, devotion, admiration. This'd be like flour, sugar, eggs and salt if you were making cake. And sit down, you gluten intolerant vegans, you know damn well it's a metaphor.

It's good to surround yourself with people who support your union. It's not good to exclude all others, because a little grit is good for the soul, but positivism is essential. We must remind ourselves, if necessary, our reasons to be grateful.

I am grateful for all the weddings I've done over the years. Each time I walked a couple through their vows, to myself I renewed my own and since, as stated above, marriage isn't easy each wedding helped renew my faith in the institution. And then I'd go home and we'd cuddle and watch TV or talk about our respective days and what tomorrow should ideally look like. It's been said that marriage is not gazing at one another but standing shoulder to shoulder and looking out in the same direction. I always get reminded of that line from Godfather 3 when I think of this, "our boats must go in the same direction", but it's as true of love as it is of crime. Common goals being so very uncommon, being something to treasure.

We don't always treasure it properly. We, as a species, fall into cliche and routine. It's a disgusting way to treat something as enviable and precious as affection, and tends to warp the feeling in lasting, unpleasant ways. As an officiant, I particularly loved providing same sex weddings because there was an evident appreciation and courage in that first wave of couples who'd been waiting so, so long, some of them coming from very far away to enjoy our newly found and rational laws of the summer of 03. Couples afraid to go to city hall because back home they'd have been attacked, but going anyway. A couple who were, after 32 years of loving each other, on the brink of entering an old folks home and just wanted the paper work to prove they shouldn't be separated. On the worst days of mis-communication that bordered on slander, how could I become cynical in the light of such strength. And so the next conversation with my (slightly more rational) husband would gain a better focus, and a better outcome.

In the summer of 03, a summer of love in Toronto, to men of good character also got married. I wasn't at their wedding but got to know them latter. They ran a bed and breakfast and over the time of same helped over fifty couples get married too. Today is their anniversary which has got me thinking about all of these things.

An anniversary is a time to celebrate the mix of our marriages - the tenacity and trust, the talk and the silence, lust and fine regard - and the order and quantity of these ingredients varies, of course, on any given year. An anniversary celebrates present joy, past time shared and a future still stretching out. It's pretty spiffy. I don't think we need to buy each other expensive gifts or fall into consumer traps but appreciate each other? Most profoundly, most definitely. Today, as they appreciate each other I appreciate them, for their friendship and fine example, for their courage and infectious sense of fun. I'm better for having known them and I think my marriage is too. Gentlemen, you rock.

******
Quotes according to the internets:

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. ~Michael Leunig

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust

Basic Diet Plan

2011-05-30T12:15:00.000-04:00

I was talking with my doctor last month about weight loss and various plans. She's extremely grounded and recommended the following:
Don't diet. Don't follow a tight plan.
What she recommended was overall, try to eat a little less. Look at your plate, is it food? Good food? Aim for good, real food on your plate and maybe a little less of it. Ignore candy and pop and things like that. Drink lots of water - not to much, but stay hydrated. Get a pedometer and start counting up steps to 10,000/day. And don't eat after 6 or 7pm.
The last bit threw me - no late dinners, snacks? But the principal sounds sane if a bit of a restructuring on how we eat - in the evening, you're gearing up for bed. Not a marathon, not a workday but sleep. How many calories do we need for that? Not so many. Huh.

Pepper Made Me Learn To Cook

2011-05-29T10:29:00.000-04:00

I was raised on processed food, most people in North America are. Dried pasta, tinned meat, powdered milk, the whole nine yards of preservatives, colouring and flavour. No blame placed, it was what we could afford and mom did her best. For the longest time moms were told that the vitamin enriched, nutritionally balanced food like products were better for us anyway, they were told this by guys wearing lab coats who looked very serious and played convincing scientists. Today, we know that fresh vegetables are better, than whole foods are better for us. It's a long, slow climb out of the all you can eat industrialized buffet but we're learning.

I'd already been a vegetarian for years by the time I moved to Toronto in the early 90's. A Nature of Things special called "the ultimate slavery" saw to that but I still didn't really understand food and cooking. Noodles were easy and I've always loved bread of any description but this doesn't exactly inspire anyone to get out a pan and some cookbooks.

What did inspire me was tasting fresh ground pepper for the first time. I'd never had it, and the difference in flavour between the pre-ground dried stuff opened my eyes to the possibility that there was a different sort of food out there, a less processed and better tasting food. My first pepper grinder was kind of sketchy and beat up, from a yard sale. It had one setting, would frequently stall and I'd hit it on the door frame in such a way that it didn't burst open and spray pepper pellets everywhere. That was a learning process in and of itself. Over the years it's been replaced by a new model from the Bay and augmented by a tiny hand held pepper grinder I'd put in my husbands lunch when he was going to school. Or my purse, if we were going out. Ever broken out your own pepper mill in a restaurant? At first, people look at you like a freak, which you are, because who does that. But then - just sometimes - someone would ask to borrow it. Good times.

Our plastic Hudsons Bay pepper mill was showing it's age by the time we sold our house to invest in film equipment and make a zombie movie (a decisions which I'm sure makes the pocket pepper mill seem sane) and so we got a new mill. We went with PEUGEOT, because it was made in France and I thought there was a better chance that the people who made it wanted to make it. Then we used it. It was almost like going from powder pepper to the fresh stuff all over again. What I didn't know at the time was this is pretty much the best mill you can buy. It will be the last one we buy and likely left to someone special in our will, they last that long. PEUGEOT has been ruling the pepper pulverizing world since 1874, based on superior coffee smashing tech. The one in the photo is being given away as a present, it's from The Inspired Cook on Queen East.

Learning to cook real food is, I think, the second most revolutionary thing a person can do these days. The first would be growing our own food, a noble pursuit in which the squirrels presently thwart me. There have been people in my life whose mad cooking prowess have inspired me - Ian, Dana, Jim, Veronica, Victoria, Ron and Marni bring a lot of love to their tables. They each, I'm sure, had experiences that led them to their delicious ways. But for myself it was grinding a pepper mill that liberated me into real food prep, which is gradually becoming a joy in hosting and path to better health.

5 Mostly Heart Healthy Recipies

2011-05-28T13:44:00.001-04:00

Last year I promised these to my sponsors for the Ride For Heart and Stroke (follow the link and you can sponsor me this year) and bollixed up sending them out. So here they are in all their glory - 5 recipes to help you eat well.

Before any of those, one word of advice: raw almonds. When a friend was diagnosed with somewhat high cholesterol and needed to make dietary adjustments to correct it (it wasn't so high, he was under a doctors care, so should you be, this doesn't replace a doctors advice nor should be taken as such blah blah blah) his doctor recommended eating 10-20 raw, unsalted almonds a day. In large quantities they're too high in fat but in these moderate amounts, quoth the doc, there was evidence to suggest that they lowered bad levels of cholesterol.

CELERIAC AND APPLE SOUP
Celeriac is the root ball of the celery plant, peppery and gorgeous on the taste buds. You'll know it when you see it in the produce section as it's the lobster of the vegetable kingdom - hideous to behold. Shave the skin off and set them aside to make stock with (see below, Stock) and then dice the white interior of a large ball of celery route. Add about 2-3 diced skinned and cored apples to the mix and *just* cover with .5 water, .5 vegetable stock. Or meat stock, if you're in a meaty mood. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, cooking until the contents are soft. Use a hand blender to puree the entire pot, or potato masher if you don't have a hand blender. Season to taste, going easy on the salt.

ROAST LEMON POTATOES
Potatoes aren't exactly high on the good for you scale so if you're going to have them, they should be awesome. Take two lbs of yellow flesh potatoes, peel and slice them into big wedges. Toss with enough olive oil to make 1tsp of fresh diced oregano stick (about a quarter cup), and add to this about 3-4 tbsp of lemon juice. Too much lemon and your potatoes will taste like a cleaning product, not enough and you won't get the yum. Experiment to find your preferred balance. Bake for 30 min at 230C or until the potatoes are fork tender. Pepper to taste.

BLACK EYED PEAS AND KALE - VEGAN!
Pre-cook a cup of black eyed peas - your rice cooker is perfect for this. Take about a lb of kale, remove the tough stalks and dice or tear into smallish pieces. Steam for about five minutes until the leaves are softer and a brighter green. Splash some olive oil in a large skillet and saute one or two red onions, peeled and diced, until soft. Add the kale and black eyed peas, a splash of additional olive oil, a tsp of crushed chillies and a pinch of salt. Stir fry on medium to low for about five minutes. Transfer to a large serving dish and drizzle with the juice from one lemon and some fresh ground pepper. Toss and serve.

SIMPLE BAKED COD
Get two (or more) nice, thick fillets of cod, de-boned and skinned. You can get these from a fish shop for best quality, but the blue menu boxed frozen things from Loblaws actually aren't bad. Pre-heat oven to 375C. Place in an open baking dish and brush with olive oil, a pinch of salt on each fillet and then *cake* with fresh cracked pepper. Bake for about 15 or 20 min until the fish easily flakes apart. Eat.

STOCK
Most packaged stocks are extremely high in salt, and high sodium intake screws with your system and can lead to really bad news for your heart. Taking charge of your stock is therefore a good idea. As you cook, take the scraps from cutting vegetables and save them in your freezer. We use a plastic ice cream tub for this - when the tub is full, it's time to make stock. Shavings of celeriac, onion skins, ends of carrots - it's all good. You may want to keep a separate container in the freezer for meat/fat scraps. Use a good sized stock pot for all and pick a day when you'll be around the house because you'll want to let this simmer for a few hours.

Veggie stock: throw your veggie scraps in the pot with some fresh diced carrots and tomatoes, fresh celery and parsley. *Just* cover with water. Simmer for 3-5 hrs, strain thoroughly and throw the scrap veg in the composter. Let the stock cool and then package in a glass jar for the fridge, placing the rest in freezer-friendly containers to save for later.

Beef/meat stock: go to your butcher and get some good sized stock bones. Brush these with low-sodium tomato paste or crushed tomatoes and bake at about 250C for 20-30 min. In your pot, you may wish to saute an onion and some garlic clove for an extra smoky yum flavour. Add to this your scrap meat AND scrap veg, some diced carrot and parsley, ground pepper. Cover with water. Simmer for 4-6 hrs, strain very well and compost the scraps, store the remaining cooled stock as above.

Chicken stock: This is the main component in chicken soup, which you have when you're sick so I'm a big fussier with is. Go to your butcher and get a grain fed whole chicken. The meat is not as important as the bone for this, so see if you can get some extra bones. Take a meat cleaver and - carefully but forcefully - hack that poor little sucker into bits. Be careful that in your haste you don't end up with raw chicken stuck to your ceiling, this is bad. You want to hack through the bones to expose the marrow, where much of your flavour comes from. Saute two onions in the bottom of your stock pot with a) olive oil or b) the remains of your last chicken stock, if you still have some. Remove from heat. Place the chicken bits in the pot with diced carrots, celery and parsley. You may want to throw in a clove or four of garlic. Cover with water, simmer for 4-6 hrs. Strain carefully and treat as above.

Special notes: when cooking with bones be very, very, very careful about staining your stock. You may end up transferring the contents more than 4 times to get all the bits out. One stray shard of chicken bone can make the difference between a yummy soup and a very bad occasion. Also, use the best quality bones you can - because your cutting into/using the marrow of the animal, you want an animal that was fed and housed in the best standards you can afford, both for flavour and best quality healthy food. Organic is ideal, free range and hormone free is the next best thing. You may also wish to freeze some stock in an ice cube tray; when making soup or stir fry you have these ready to toss in stock cubes at your finger tips.

Have fun!

Fear Of Cooking Fish

2011-05-23T09:21:00.000-04:00

So fish is good for you, in moderate amounts. As apex predators, fish like tuna can get a high level of mercury in them so those should be limited. Because I like the planet and would like there to be fish in years to come, I've been trying to select fish that aren't terribly endangered and are sustainable catch, to the best of my ability. Lists like Seafood Watch through Monterey Bay Aquarium help, as does Canadas Seachoice Program. A new local store called Hooked might have the most promising help of all. Yes, they source ethical fish, yes they buy direct from fisherman. But they also have culinary staff to help select and advise in the preparation of fish. They may even be starting a small cooking school to help people.

Because lets face it, I grew up on fish triangles. That was my experience in preparing fish - throw the "breaded" (what the hell was that stuff anyway) reconstituted "fish" (cod? halibut? Again, who knows) on a tray and bake it until it's hot. Cooking fish scares me, it's new and if done improperly is a huge waste of food and money. So this idea of having cooks behind the counter selling you food is really, really exciting.

Although apparently I have learned to cook cod. Skinless/boneless fillets, brushed with olive oil and caked on one side with fresh ground pepper and salt, baked in an open dish pan at 375 C for about 15 - 20 min. Tried it twice has worked both times. Hurray!

Portion Control

2011-04-16T01:41:00.001-04:00

Portion control is something most people have a problem with, and small wonder. If you look at the size of a standard dinner plate for sale in any department store today and an antique plate from the early part of the last century, you'll notice our modern plates are bigger. Food in restaurants is heaped up, what used to be a large popcorn in the movies is now a small. And coffee sizes at your local chain kiosk? Seriously? I won't name the vendor but you know the one I'm talking about: their new coffee size in the US will hold a bottle of wine. Good for getting depressed in parks, bad for really understanding how much we're eating.

Looking at the sizes and shapes of different people, it's hard to believe that a standard measuring unit should be equal between them, which is also confusing. My 6 foot 5 inch tall broad shouldered brother runs on more protein than I do, it just makes sense. So the best, most sensible way to control portions for individuals in my humble (and non-medical professional opinion) is going by the size of your hand. If you're lucky enough to be born with even one perfectly formed hand, you'll notice that your hand is custom measured to your personal frame and height. You can use this to guide portions or serving sizes:

Palm of your hand= approximately 3 ounces

This is your personal serving size for protein, be it animal or tofu. The thickness of your hand will also factor in as a guide for you. Normally the recommended serving size for protein is about the size of a deck of cards, which may or may not be relevant to the size of your hand. Go by your hand for this and the rest.

Clenched fist= approximately 1 cup

This is a good visual for measuring cereal, casseroles and soups.

One cupped hand= approximately ½ cup

This is a good serving size for fruit or white potato or rice.

Two cupped hands= round it over with green leafy goodness

This is your serving size for green leafy salad. Om nom nom nom....

Tip of your thumb= approximately 1 teaspoon

This is your portion for things like butter, margarine or oil. Heavy fats, basically.

One entire thumb or two thumbs together if your thumbs are freakishly small = approximately 1 Tablespoon

Serving size for peanut butter, cream cheese or salad dressing.

Look online for other options in interpreting your hands for serving sizes. This is a combination of a couple that made sense to and seem to be working for me.

Signs of Stroke

2011-04-15T23:54:00.004-04:00

Young people can have strokes, kids can have strokes. You and I are susceptible too. Strokes - they're not just for old people anymore.

There's different kinds of stroke - right side, left side, base of the head, small strokes, catastrophic strokes - but most of the time if you know the basics of what a stroke looks like and get to a hospital, your chances of survival and recovery go up. That's the main thing to remember.

If you watch "House" there was an episode with a photographer having a stroke who remembered a list of symptoms called "FAST" and self diagnosed at the beginning of the episode. (It was house, so stroke wasn't her only problem) F = face, is it lopsided? Is your smile crooked? A = arms, are you able to hold them up to the same level without effort, or does one sag? S = speech (I think, might also have been smile) - is it slurred or irregular. And the last letter stood for Time, that fast help could save her and that a clock was ticking on her life. Very poetic, very effective. But it doesn't list all the symptoms.

Vision trouble and sudden, painful headache are also symptoms, along with dizziness as well as weakness and trouble speaking. This could be a stroke, go seek help. It could be something else, but don't screw around with it. Hospitals are friends, they have doctors and drugs which are excellent for just this sort of thing.

Recipe - Tinker Toy Salad

2011-04-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

Here's one of the healthy food recipes I've incorporated into my diet recently. The layout and approximate nutritional breakdown are from my "My Fitness Pal" page and the original recipe was from my fabulous friend Kim. I keep a bin of this in the fridge and add it to dinner or eat it for lunch. The ingredients change with availability and right now there's no blueberries in the bin but there are a few handfuls of cranberries. There's also no watercress and the cabbage is both plentiful and green. I'm not too hung up on exact calorie count, the goal is just to eat real food in reasonable amounts and avoid bullshit, which this does nicely.

Now, why tinker toy salad, you may ask. First time I made this my husband (who believes all food is brown) looked across the table at me and asked what I was eating. Smart ass that I am, I asked what it looked like and he truthfully said it looked like children's toys. Hence the name.

Ingredients	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Iron	Fiber
Cabbage - Red, raw, 1 head, small (4" dia)	176	42	1	8	25	12
Chinese Veg - Kale, 1.5 Cup	54	11	1	4	11	4
Co-Op - Watercress, 225 g	45	1	2	7	0	3
365 Organic - Pumpkin Seeds, 1/2 cup	360	10	28	18	30	6
Carrot - 7" Long Carrot, 3 carrot	90	21	0	3	6	6
Acme - Red Wine Vinegar, 6 tbsp	0	0	0	0	0	0
Bellino - Extra Virgin Olive Oil-First Cold Pressed, 4 TBSP	480	0	56	0	0	0
365 Organic - Lemon Juice 100%, 6 tsp	0	0	0	0	0	0
Aldi's Fit % Active - Dried Blueberries, 0.5 cup	46	8	0	0	0	0
Add Ingredient

Total:	1251	93	88	40	72	31
Per Serving:	156	12	11	5	9	4

Help in re-defining food

2011-04-10T08:52:00.000-04:00

As I go through the long journey to becoming a healthy foody, this caught my eye. It's a Ted Talk from Austin with Robyn O'Brien, talking about the recent changes in North American agriculture. This helped me like no other video or presentation understand the rise in food allergies:

Online Tool Review - Calorie Counters

2011-04-05T12:43:00.001-04:00

There are a number of online calorie counters to help people keep track of their intake and make a connection to the importance of exercise while building community and online support. The entry levels of these three are free and offer a great introduction to weight management journaling. Click on any of the links to see the products offered and please let me know if they stop working. Check each of them out and see if any of them works for you in particular.

Years ago a friend introduced me to Daily Plate, since bought out by the LiveStrong foundation and offered through their site. It's incredibly easy to use and have some paid upgrades that I could see value in, although I didn't explore them.

A year or so ago the same friend introduce me to the Daily Burn, a different online calorie/exercise tracker that she felt was more comprehensive in it's coverage. I didn't see too big a difference, just a different community really, although I did like the break down of food better. I'd found the exercises and challenges on Daily Plate easier to follow though.

More recently, same friend introduced me to My Fitness Pal, an atrociously named site which does much the same thing as the first two. Now, it could be that I'm just more committed this time but I seem to be using it more and getting more out of it than the previous two. I'm enjoying the ability to build recipes based on things I actually eat, and the free app that links to my Blackberry is pretty sweet.

Dieting vs. Eating Food

2010-12-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

So after years of being corporate veal by day and cake eating wedding officiant by night, I'm larger than I should be for my height. If I were over six feet I'd be fine but as it stands in order to avoid the family flaws (heart disease, diabetes) it'll be best to cut back a bit. So I've been doing so, first by ditching the corporate veal job and then by stepping away from the cake table. It's a slow process, I always say Rome wasn't burned in a day and neither shall be my keester. Sometimes I get tempted by the siren call of dieting.

I've got a couple of friends who did very well on a famous/infamous medical weight lose strategy available in Toronto. And another who embraced a guided herbal supplement path and lost over three stone. (side note: over a certain weight range I like to count in stones, which is apparently 25lbs. Saying I only have to lose two stone sounds less daunting) And yet another friend who got royally screwed out of time and money to be led up the garden path to minimal weight loss. Every once in a while I get frustrated and take another look at the various paid systems out there or else the fasts and the cleanses and the over the counter wonder pills. But I know none of that is for me.

Primarily, it's not for me because I'm a cheap bastard who doesn't want to pay extra for drugs or what not. I also don't like taking drugs I don't medically need, and requirer fuller information than most proprietary plans can provide. I also don't like the idea of rapid weight loss unless a person is in a state of emergency and requires it. Your skin looks terrible and I'm kind of nervous about the information stored in fat cells being released all at once. So gradually I'll go. No dieting for me.

And yet, I know by some definitions I'm dieting a little bit. Certain things are restricted from my diet and it's sometimes difficult to explain to people why. It's just a question of treating food as fuel, rather than just tasty filling om noms. After reading "In Defense Of Food" and watching "Food INC." my understanding of what food is has changed. I TOTALLY recommend the terrifying duo of that book and film, fantastic stuff. Processed, pre-packaged and fast food? Is filler, not food. Bread, in all it's wondrous forms, is really cake and the processing of refining flour that came into vogue with the industrial revolution robes the substance of most of it's nutritional value. Basically if it's a whole food - totally recognizable in it's original form - it's food. If it comes from plants and was not made in a plant, it's food. If my grandmother recognized it as food, it's likely food. And if pests want it, it's food. I don't trust things marketed as food that bugs don't want. Bugs are not picky consumers, and if they don't want your margarine or flour or hamburger patty, chances are it's not fit for our consumption either. I'm working on restricting my diet to real food, and it's working so far.

Venue Review: Enoch Turner Schoolhouse

2010-08-09T21:38:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite venues. There's not many really excellent pictures online so I'll try to tell you about it. There are two rooms that you can be married in, and both have merit.

The great hall portion is huge with a vaulted ceiling and curiously, just about the worlds most perfect accoustics. You put a cello or a good quality human voice in there and the sound is just amazing. If this is the room that appeals, I'd say go for live music for your ceremony. String quartet. Or a singer with guitar. Or something like that. There's a piano in the room but I have no idea how often it's tuned. A piano in Toronto Ontario should be tuned twice a year at least. Srsly.Anyway, the great hall portion is a later addition to the schoolhouse and attached to the schoolhouse itself by a parlor area suitable for stand up receptions which contains a wet bar, access to the kitchens and curio cabinets with items of historical relevance.

The second room is the actual schoolhouse, dating from 1848 with low ceiling and narrow windows, very little light. It's dim, and there's room for about 100 guest to huddle into the reproduction school desks. Most of the furnishings and ornemantation are either reproduction or are antiques donated to the venue, but the school teachers desk that you sit on to sign your documennts is original and genuine. To sit at this gorgous, simple desk is to enter into your marriage in humility and this is half of what I love about this part of this venue - the quiet peace of the furnishings and room. The other half is that the building is made out of equal portions of brick and love.

Looking into the way back machine, here's a brief history of the Irish getting screwed in Toronto, as told by an undereducated wedding officiant fully expecting to be corrected. First the Irish Catholics came to Canada because they were getting screwed in their own country - unable to own certain things, unable to travel at certain times, unable to even own a horse over a certain height, that kind of BS. Then everyone in Ireland got screwed by the potato famine around about 1845. There was still a lot of food being produced but it was being shipped to England and places not Ireland, and it was just the potatoes that people were allowed to eat being affected over all. So people starved and struggled to get the hell out of Ireland. The US didn't want them and made a deal with England about the price of travel, so that to get to New York an Irish person would have to pay a lot of money and to get to Canada they'd have to pay very little, so a lot of them ended up here. Well, those who didn't, in their emaciated form, die either on the Atlantic or in the St. Lawrence river itself. There's mention of a couple of ships where people were sick, and rather than have the passengers be a burden or contamonate people on land they were just allowed to die within sight of it. No disembarking for them. This all pretty much sucked but was in keeping with what the Irish had begun to expect from the rest of the world, having been shipped off to penial colonies in Australia for being Irish and having been rounded up and sold at one point in history to the Carrabean. So what does the fresh hell of the mid 1800's have to do with a very attractive wedding venue?

When the famine victims did arrive they ran into the Irish Catholics they'd screwed over not a generation before, and it was awkward to say the least. Not a warm welcome. The rest of Toronto wasn't very kind eaither, George Brown writing in what was a pre-cursur to the Globe and Mail that they were lazy, violent, brutish and stupid. Irish by and large were considered a sub species at the time and the established Irish considered the new Irish imports to be assholes and hilarity insued.

So then this group of people got together and said "yeah, this isn't going to work unless they have some place to be, like a church and a school or something like that." This group included Bishop Strachan, brewer Enoch Turner, and the millers and distillers Gooderham and Worts. They raised funds and built a church, Little Trinity on King St. and from what I've read ran out of money. Enoch Turner, who had no children of his own but was pretty fond of them, determined that the life of the Irish wasn't going to improve without a school. Back in this time you couldn't go to school without paying for it and the famine victims were out of cash so he build them a school, out of his own pocket. and there it stands. Toronto's first free school, and given that it survived the great fire of the city years later it's the oldest standing one. Here's a blurb I wrote for the introduction of weddings I've done there, you can use it for your ceremony as long as you credit me and have a very nice day:

"We are, right now, within walls built by love in a very real sense. In 1848 brewer Enoch Turner founded this, Toronot's first free and longest standing school to provide basic education to the children of Irish immigrants. He was remembered in a period of grinding poverty as a generous and compassionate man. He had nothing to gain by this gift except the knowledge that he was helping build a better world. The world is changing with each moment, and each action and decision we partake in makes it what it is, and we learn from it. The most valuable lessons we learn in life, we absolutely learn from love."

There's a patch of gardens around it that look good in photo's and the interior of the great hall dresses up nicely. You don't want to dress up the schoolhouse, it's supposed to look the way it does and has a rustic charm you'd be hard pressed to replicate. The staff are friendly and renovations in recent years have ensured that there's a brides room the bathrooms are WAY nicer than they used to be. It's got an awful lot to recommend it and if your wedding is between 40-110 people it is, in my opinion, just about perfect.

From the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court legalizing same sex marriage

2010-08-09T19:52:00.000-04:00

A reading I've added to my archive for options in weddings, and one I like very much. There are weddings at which it's been very appropriate, not all of them same sex:

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition. It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.”

- from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state.

Blog Re-boot

2010-07-19T20:19:00.034-04:00

I've kept another blog for many years, more recently not really paying much attention to it in favor of "socializing" on facebook or watching videos on YouTube. Fact is I need to write more and so I'm consolidating online writing under this blog heading renaming it "Mindful Passenger". Why that? Easy. Well, is seems clear to me but then I'm a somewhat mad hat wearing wedding officiant/writer/filmmaker. We'll see how much sense this makes to you:

This year we got a motorcycle. The husband drives it, and I ride behind him. It's very different than being a passenger in a car, because you're completely exposed and *in* the elements. Of course, you're slightly more at risk of injury than when traveling by car but not by that much. Cars feel safer because they're enclosed, an envelope of steel and fiber glass that makes us feel coccooned, safe. Some drivers and passengers even feel like they're in houses, completely removed from the act of travel. Riding a motorcycle is a completely different experiance, but not because it is - only because the veneer of percieved insulatoin is removed. And I started thinking of how much like life that is, how removed and distant we sometimes feel because of perception when we really are all still here, in a community, impacting on others and being impacted on. Our time here is fleeting, a blizzard of seconds and paying attention matters. I started thinking about life as a ride, a transit in time and remembered a) a quote on a bottle of Dr. Bronner's soap declaring us all astronauts on space ship earth and b) a reference to everything in the universe - us included - being made from exploded stars. Stardust. We are all astronauts made of star dust traveling at 107,000Km/hr around the sun and every time I get wound up about something petty, that thought blows my fragile little mind. But this is life. This is a journey worth noting, and so here are my notes.

2010-06-05T07:53:00.000-04:00

I want everyone to have this information. Some of the symptoms aren't what you might think, and I know/know of some very smart people who've witnessed heart attacks and didn't know it at the time. A lot of this is direct from various heart and stroke websites and covers heart attack, cardiac arrest and various forms of stroke.

A heart attack occurs when blood flow to a section of heart muscle becomes blocked. If the flow of blood isn’t restored quickly, the section of heart muscle becomes damaged from lack of oxygen and begins to die. A person having a heart attack may feel sudden pain:
* Sudden discomfort or pain that does not go away with rest
* Pain that may be in the chest, neck, jaw, shoulder, arms or back
* Pain that may feel like burning, squeezing, heaviness, tightness or pressure
* In women, pain may be more vague
* Chest pain or discomfort that is brought on with exertion and goes away with rest
They may also have a shortness of breath, or indigestion/nausea/vomiting, and/or have cool, clammy skin, and/or experience anxiety or denial. So a person who's got indigestion, some pain, is anxious and telling you to piss off may be having a panic attack - or a heart attack.
So what do you do? If it's you, stop telling people to piss off, you're just agitating yourself and looking like a moron. Whoever can should call 911. The person experiencing the possible heart attack should stop what they're doing, sit or lie down, try to relax. If they/you take nitroglycerin, take the normal dose. If they/you experience chest pain, chew (which is gross, do it anyway) one adult 325 mg tablet or 2 80 mg tablets of ASA (acetylsalicylic acid, commonly referred to as Aspirin®). Pain medicines such as acetaminophen (commonly known as Tylenol®) or ibuprofen (commonly known as Advil®) do not work the same way as ASA (Aspirin) and therefore will not help in the emergency situation described above.

If you're alone, wait for help. You've called 911, right? If not, call them now. You may have seen an email about coughing to keep the heart going if you're alone and suspect you're having a heart attack. The Heart and Stroke website advises to ignore this email. Think about it, if your goal is to rest and keep calm how is forcing deep coughs going to help? And you've received a lot of bullshit emails, right? The coughing thing was one of them, don't do it.

Cardiac arrest is something different. Cardiac arrest is the sudden, abrupt loss of heart function. The victim may or may not have diagnosed heart disease. Sudden death (also called sudden cardiac death) occurs within minutes after symptoms appear.During cardiac arrest a victim loses consciousness, stops normal breathing and loses pulse and blood pressure. If you're alone and experience cardiac arrest, you're fucked. On the up side according to some doctors I've spoken to, you're not going to feel a thing, you're just going to drop, may not have any warning of something amiss. You'll remain unconscious as your body dies. If you're in front of someone who's dropped for no apparent reason and isn't responding to their name, being shaken or shouted at, check for pulse, breathing. Tilt their head back and listen for breathing for a maximum of 5 seconds. No breathing, pulse, response? Might be cardiac arrest. If there are other people around, have someone call 911. Tell someone to get an Automated External Defibrillator (AED) if one is available. Most gyms have them now, all fire trucks do and there's one every 20 ft (from what I've heard) at Pearson airport. If none is available, begin CPR if you know it.
If you're alone with a person appearing to be experiencing cardiac arrest, call 911, get the AED yourself if one is available. If none is available, begin CPR if you know it. The main message here is learn CPR.

Stroke is something different again. A stroke is a sudden loss of brain function. It is caused by the interruption of flow of blood to the brain (ischemic stroke) or the rupture of blood vessels in the brain (hemorrhagic stroke). Effects and damage are going to depend on where the stroke occurred.

We can all thank the episode of House with the pregnant photographer for the FAST way of recognizing a stroke. Remember?
F = Face. Is your smile crooked? Is part of your face drooping?
A = Arms. Are you able to raise your arms to the same level in front of you? No? Weakness on one side, my friend.
S = Speech. Subject, noun, verb, give it a try. If you suddenly are having trouble speaking, that's a bad thing.
T = Time. You're having a stroke. Get medical attention immediately. The longer you wait, the more damaged (or dead) you'll be.

There are other symptoms though. Massive sudden headache, dizziness and vision problems are additional things you should watch for. If you or someone in front of you seems to be having a stroke, get medical attention immediately. It may be nothing but are you a doctor? No? Well, let one decide. The faster you get to help, the better your chances for surviving well are. There are medications you may be given during your stroke at a hospital, whether they're appropriate to your circumstance are up to the health care providers on staff.

And that's it. It's a cliche to say that lots of hearts break when one does, but it's also a fact. The sudden loss of someone to heart attack or stroke is as much of a shock to loved ones as losing them to a car crash or bullet. You have one heart, and it's precious. You have one mind, and it's valuable. Take care of both. Educate yourself and people around you, take CPR courses with friends. Eat real food in appropriate amounts. Don't smoke. Exercise regularly. Enjoy your life and be happy. You are loved.

Venue Review: La Maquette

2010-03-20T20:33:00.002-04:00

Prettiest. Venue. Ever. Found on the south side of King St. at Church, the staff bend over backward to make the experience good, by all accounts the food is excellent and certainly it's well situated and voted one of the most romantic restaurants in the city. I've heard people note that it's not an inexpensive venue but I'm here to point something out: if what you want is elegant and pretty La Maquette has great value.

Consider this: one of the single best cost saving things a couple can do for their wedding, second only to limiting the guest list, is to have the wedding and reception in a reastaurant. No separate catering fee, no table rentals, no special occasions permit to aquire, no rental of linens, no hiring of staff and wondering if, transient workers that they can be, they'll show up. A restaurant is really the way to go: it's easy to arrange a tasting of the food, it's a known quantity, and all your costs are easier to determine and therefore less likely to bite you in the ass. Now, very swank restaurants can be pricier and certainly La Maquette is that. But it's also more than that - it's beautiful. Don't want to spend extra money on flowers or decoration? You don't have to. The interior is a work of art, at first seeming just quite pretty but on further examination the level of detail and depth to the quality of attention in it's design are truly breathtaking. Over the course of your event your guests will just get more and more impressed. The atmosphere is magnificent, the rooms open and inviting. No, I haven't had dinner there yet and will update this post once I do, but from the joy of couples I've seen married there and the quality of service I've seen on display I whole heartedly recommend it.

Bare Bones Marriage Ceremony for Ontario

2010-03-20T18:04:00.002-04:00

For anyone wondering, this is what the marriage act requires. The spirit of it is covered in any general ceremony I do, but the actual language was requested by one couple ages ago. Here it is, dry as toast, from the Ontario Marriage Act:

I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I, AB, may not be joined in matrimony to CD,

Je déclare solennellement que moi, AB, je ne connais aucun empêchement légal à mon mariage avec CD,

and each of the parties shall say to the other:

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, AB, do take you, CD, to be my lawful wedded wife (or to be my lawful wedded husband or to be my lawful wedded partner or to be my lawful wedded spouse),

Je demande aux personnes qui sont ici présentes d’être témoins que moi, AB, je prends CD comme légitime épouse (ou comme légitime époux ou comme partenaire conjugal légitime ou comme légitime conjoint(e)),

after which the person solemnizing the marriage shall say:

I, EF, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Marriage Act, do hereby pronounce you AB and CD to be married,

En vertu des pouvoirs qui me sont conférés par la Loi sur le mariage, moi, EF, je vous déclare mariés(ées), AB et CD.

Last nights dinner

2010-03-02T07:55:00.001-05:00

We had a friend over for dinner, the kind of friend that only ever makes sense. In celebration we went kind of all out on the food front. Here's the menu:

Steaks - Dead, happy animals, not factory farmed BS. BBQ'd to rare. Only problem was I got too much meat for two people to eat. Not everyone felt this was a problem.

Potato - Kind of scalloped, but without cheese or flour. Sliced and layered local, organic spuds with onion, minced Ontario garlic, paprika, salt and pepper and a dab of Becel in every layer. Potato ends saved for the top to keep in moisture. Put in an enamel cast iron pot with lid and baked at 300 for 40 min, then 400 for 20 min. This turned out very, very nicely and will happen again.

Alt salad - No idea where I was going with this one at first, but it seemed like it might be tastey. Fried up some onion and red bell peppers until they were soft (onion first, bell peppers much later) in Becel. Steamed one sliced, pitted pear, skin left on. Steamed some slices of scrubbed (but not skinned) beets. Served very hot - bed of peppers and onion topped with beets, topped with pear and finally goats cheese which melted just slightly into the pear and beet. Fucking awesome. Will be doing this one again for sure.

Other salad - Just torn up organic lettuce, poor bastard. It was breakfast this morning, no one paid it any heed last night.

Veg - Asparagus, cleaned and chopped, tossed with olive oil and fresh cracked salt and pepper, BBQ'd in a steel wok. Still crunchy when served, this might be my new favorite way to have asparagus.

Wine - Normally I drink red, but last nights guest drinks white so I had to go outside my comfort zone in shopping. I picked a low range bottle of Le Clos Jordanne Chardonnay, cousin to a higher range bottle that had beat out wines from all over the world in a competition last year. Oh my goodness, it was good. Buttery, round and full of life. It had character and stories to tell. It told us about sun splattered days and shenanigans at the vineyard and we were highly entertained.

Now, our guest had brought a bottle as well so we moved on to another Chardonnay from Niagara, Peller Estates. Normally quite a palatable wine it was unremarkable by comparison, a relative wallflower. This drastic side by side goes to show that you can’t judge a wine by it’s region, ever. There’s so much more that goes into making wine, and people who go on at me about there being no good Canadian wines? Have simply not met the right one. Le Clos Jordanne – or Jordy as we like to call her – is welcome back any time.

Diabetic(ish) Cookies

2009-12-30T19:59:00.003-05:00

Due to modern medicines ability to increase overall human lifespan and the amazing effects of the western diet, the number of diabetics on my holiday baking list has gone from one to 9 in the past decade. This year I made only one batch of regular, heavily sugared oatmeal cookies and attempted to make shortbread for the first time. Shortbread is apparently flour held together with butter and enough sugar to make it easy to choke down. Giddy with success in this, I attempted to make a low-cholesterol, diabetic friendly version of shortbread using Becel and stevia. No, I wasn’t drunk, I actually thought this would work. Perhaps a lower Becel content and some stevia that wasn’t past date would have been successful, but as it was I put it in the bucket of Epic Fail.

Onward to the orthopedic cookies. Diabetes sucks enough all on it’s own, there’s no reason to my mind why cookies should be forbidden outright. I can no longer find the recipe I started with some years back, not even by consulting the oracle of Google using ingredients recalled as essential at one time. Previous attempts to re-create said recipe have resulted in pucks vaguely tasting like orange flavored mostly dry carpenters glue. Tonight was successful though, so I’ve (for the first time ever) written down what I think I just did.

The thing that makes these diabetic cookies is that they have very little direct sugar, almost no indirect sugar and no animal fat. I suppose they’re vegan too, but I don’t want to hold you back from putting honey in it.

About 2 cups flour
Handful brown sugar
Tspn baking soda
Dollop sugar free vanilla yogurt
Tspn powdered ginger
Few shakes cinnamon
¼ cup melted Becel
6 packets Now brand stevia
2-3 heaping tbsp marmalade

Likely another cook - a real cook, for instance - would put things in a certain order or something, but I really can’t remember that. You should put the stevia packets in the Becel after heating though, it mixes best in hot fluids. Mix all this stuff up together in a bowl and then place spoonfuls of it on either parchment paper or silicon baking sheets – another way to reduce fat content and allow you to have another cookie. Bake it for about 5-12 min (I wasn’t paying that close attention here) at 350 degrees. Keep an eye on them – when they start to brown around the edges, even slightly, they are totally done. Take them out before they burn. If they taste like glue, you’ve done something horribly wrong.

Nov 11 - In Flanders Fields

2009-11-11T08:01:00.001-05:00

Poppies grow best in churned earth, and so were an enthusiastic resident of cemeteries in the First World War. Not all of the impromptu cemeteries were for entire persons – some were for arms and legs amputated with all the haste that 1915’s medical technology insisted on. LOTS of graves, large and small. Poppies flourish in the fresh wounds of the earth.

Major McCrae was a surgeon in the First World War. Near the end of 17 days of surgery in the Ypres salient, a feat that he later likened to Hades and said he would not have thought possible if told from the outset what would be expected of him, one death in particular affected him. His friend and former student Lieut. Alexis Helmer was killed in a shell burst. In the absence of chaplain McCrae performed the funeral service himself.

The next day he took a short break with his notebook, leaned on the back of an ambulance. He looked at the cemetery, the poppies blown by a breeze from the east. A witness, 22yr old sergeant major Cyril Allinson was delivering mail and walked over to McCrae, who looked up but continued writing. In twenty precious minutes he composed “In Flanders Fields” in the form of a French rondeau. Allinson reported that the surgeon looked calm but very tired, and kept glancing toward Helmers grave. He also confirmed that what is depicted in the poem is an exact representation of what the scene looked like.

McCrae was dissatisfied with the poem and tossed it aside, but a fellow officer retrieved it and sent it to newspapers in England. One of them, Punch, published it on December 8th 1915. In the years since it has become a fixture of Remembrance Day, recited with (and sometimes without) feeling at memorials and school celebrations. For the most part it is praised as one of the most memorable poems of it’s time. Some literary critics have decried it for its recruiting poster feel in the last stanza. I say, if one has not spend 17 days up to their elbows in the entrails their comrades, one is wise not to question the motivations of the author’s mind – and just be grateful to have never been in the circumstance, and grateful to the person who was.

So it’s remembrance day, when we remember fallen soldiers with gratitude and respect. And those still serving. And those who’ve been broken or damaged by battles. And, for my part, anyone who’s job it is to run toward something I’d like to run away from – in 2001, I remembered fire fighters and police who’d fallen in duty, and have each year since. (These days, I also take a moment to shake my fist in the direction of Westborough Baptist Church for protesting soldiers funerals and being dinks in general.) And each year I give a minute to McCrae, for the corner of his beaten and brutalized mind that distilled a moment in time into the poem we know today. I remember the soldier, the surgeon, the writer.

Tonights Thanksgiving Dinner

2009-10-11T08:03:00.000-04:00

Was a hit. Very simple food, I'm not a chef or anything, but here's what we had:

Turkey, 14lbs. Time of death very recent, cause was listed as suspected tastiness. This years bird was ordered from Rowe Farms to avoid the insanity of St. Lawrence market and the creepiness of trying to find an antibiotic-free/grain fed frozen carcass among the "pre-basted" versions in the supermarkets. Pre-basted? With what? How? Get the fuck out of my kitchen, Corporation X.

Bird was rinsed and innards removed. Innards were a perky display of unrecognizable organs which have been put aside for further study. Stuffing was 2 celery stalks, one onion and 6 pieces of diced rye bread with salt and pepper, jammed into said unfortunate bird. Bird placed chest down in the roasting pan. I do this because then you don't (so long as you keep the lid on) have to bast it. No, you don't get the golden brown skin or the picture perfect display - but who cares. Tasty, zero stress and saves time. Actually gives more time for socializing or reading or FB'ing or getting drunk. Moving on.
Acorn squash, roasted with butter to a light brown and then mashed with more butter and a (small) sprinkle of brown sugar.
Carrots, sliced and steamed.
This bit of the family likes tinned jellied cranberries, which is just horrible. I managed to get it out of the tin with the ridges intact and served it garnished with a celery sprig. And a side of shame. We will not speak of the potatoes.
Gravy made using turkey drippings scooped with a micro ladle from the roasting pan, 2.5 cups worth. (I know turkey basters exist but they just seem unhygienic.) Heated drippings in a pan and added a splash of wooster sauce and some salt/pepper. Mixed a few fistfuls of organic white(ish) flour with some cold water, then mixed this into the pan as well. Stirred maniacally for about 3 min and voila - gravy.

The carnivores at the table attested to the tastiness of the unfortunate turkey and said gravy. And all veg was consumed with glee. Realized half way through that I hadn't made a salad or supplied rolls, feeling a pang of host guilt before refilling my glass. Guests brought pumpkin pie and something called "nuttie butties" which turn out to be pre-packaged ice cream drumsticks. So not all good and glorious real food but up to that point we were a local version of healthy. With more butter than would be usually recommended, likely. Anywho, that's a handful of barely understandable Thanksgiving recipes for y'all.

From a FB meme

2009-08-30T20:10:00.000-04:00

36 things I've come to realize
Rules: Blah blah blah near chainletter bs blah.

1. I've come to realize that my...skin gets blotchy in the sun now. Yay aging! Thanks for that, very nice.
2. I've come to realize that my job...is what I always wanted to do, just in a different way.
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving ...I’m dreaming. No license yet in the waking hours. And normally, when I’m dreaming, it’s a train or some kind of space craft.
4. I've come to realize that I need ...to move about more, to speak less, to listen more attentively, and to learn to walk in heels.
5. I've come to realize that I have lost ...my denim hat, the one that sunk in the rapids when I fell of a cliff that second time. It’s pretty much gone.
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when ...I'm late for anything.
7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk ...I’m much, much, much better looking and so are you.
8. I've come to realize that money ...cannot buy happiness, but sometimes is an effective salve in alleviating pain.
9. I've come to realize that certain people ...will remain beyond my comprehension. Just gotta accept them the way they are.
10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...crave more sugar than I should have.
11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s) ...are a pretty freaking diverse group of people who I’m fortunate to know.
12. I've come to realize that my mom ...taught me more than I appreciated earlier on.
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...should really go to a recycling bin. Hasn’t been on in 11 years. Why do I still have it? And why did I put so many frog stickers on it?
14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...I was glad to have written a to-do list in sharpie on my arm the night before, but would have remembered the stuff anyway. And later I realized that a kitchen scruby gets off sharpie marker pretty good.
15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...my cat’s breath smells like cat food.
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...I should be working.
17. I've come to realize that my dad...is a bloody funny person.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...no one really looks like their profile photo.
19. I've come to realize that today...going back to the same yard sale latter will get you free stuff. Tin box. Top that, eh?
20. I've come to realize that tonight...I shouldn't pick movies based on scant knowledge of the books I think they might have been based on.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...has nothing booked yet and may be the day to go from three to one desks in my office. God how I wish that were code.
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...get published again.
23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...is that something you can realize? I don’t think so. Nope.
24. I've come to realize that life...is precious and complex with notes of chocolate, blueberry and smoke, and gets better as it ages.
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...was the first time I’d introduced a young boy to pet worms. Yay bug fun!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...has a consistent and calming pulse and flow, and that I try to use it to reset my brain.
27. I've come to realize that my friends...are perhaps the most patient people on the planet. Totally unintentional alliteration there.
28. I've come to realize that this year...is the last of the years to have two zero’s in the middle of it. Starting next year we’ll have a zero at the end and a one in the middle. Freaky. Was still dealing with it being not the 90’s, and the aughts will have gone.
29. I've come to realize that my ex...might be dead.
30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...write every day.
31. I've come to realize that I love...excellent wine.
32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...technical manuals. Which is unfortunate considering my career path.
33. I've come to realize my past...has so many black holes in it due to bad wine.
34. I've come to realize that parties...are things I should stay sober for.
35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...of stuff I’m not telling you. Why would anyone put that online? It’s like tempting the fates.
36. I've come to realize that my life...is not perfect, but it’s pretty blessed and it might be perfect for me.

Venue Review: Enterprise 2000

2009-08-09T14:41:00.003-04:00

A few years back I started to do weddings out on the lake, in an effort to get over my fear of water and also because the couples are irresistible. There's something so celebratory and fun about a cruise wedding, the couples who choose it are My Kind Of People.

This morning I was out on the Enterprise 2000. Awesomely named for a Trek party, it's aways away from the other boats dotting Queens Quay in Toronto. You have down Cherry St past some much larger, more purposeful ships and derelict looking buildings before you get to it. 100 people had plenty of room in this very nice boat. The original lay out of the ceremony site was on the prow but moved inside to the dance floor due to inclement weather. The dance floor is on the main level surrounded by a bar rails and booths. There are two bars, one on each level, and the second level is open above he dance floor so you can look down, the whole party connected. Above is an arched semi-clear ceiling which lets in light but not weather, which seems to be a very good thing for today. The DJ liked the space because he had room to spread out, the couple liked it because the venue had made it easy to plan a wedding from out of province and I liked it because they let the bride hang out in the wheelhouse, which overlooks the prow and has plenty of room. Also, the dealt with problems very well.

It didn't just rain this morning. It came down in a solid wall of water that made me wish I had gills. The end of the pier vanished into treacherous looking fog. Dangerous storm warnings, lightening, the works. Unable to go out on the lake due to safety concerns, the ceremony space was set up inside while the boat was tied to the dock. The clouds lifted a bit as the wedding went on and by the end, it had cleared enough that the boat was allowed out for its cruise following the receiving line. It takes a pro team to turn an unfortunate circumstance into a positive event, and the crew still stayed on top of the moment and provided great service to the couple. No idea how the rest of the cruise went, I skipped off home but the sun was shining right now and the couple in good hands.

Colours: orange and blue.
Personal touches: Jeweled initials hanging off all the bridesmaids bouquets, numbered ceramic lighthouse centerpieces.
Bride: Strapless sculpted white, long train, no veil/tiara, splash of stones on her belly. Intricate hair style, back from her face and up in the back just a bit, strands woven in together. Lush orange themed bouquet. Looked like beauty personified.
Groom: Sane. Finally, someone who ditches the suit in summer - groomsmen all in bright blue dress shirts, groom in white, ties all around but overall much more comfortable and better smelling than if they'd gone for suit jackets in this weather. Smart, handsome boys.
Rings: Hers was pretty and thin, row of claw set stones across, perfect for her slender hand. His I'd never seen the like of before, titanium comfort fit (good move) with an exterior that looked like a nut. You could have put a wrench beside this ring and got right confused about what to build. Gorgeous.

New Favorite Wedding Venue

2009-07-14T18:47:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I had a wedding at Kew Gardens in the gazebo. After sweeping up the cigarette butts it's my new favorite wedding venue. Steps from the Queen Streetcar to the north and a short walk to the lake at the south, with a densely wooded path for the bride or whomever to walk out from to the west and lush greenery to the east, the gazebo itself stands on it's own. I have no idea when it was built, but the ornate iron work suggest the first bit of the last century. Windows along it's top let in indirect light but not rain, and a single iron and wood park bench adorns the hardwood floor. The paint is peeling everywhere, giving the romantic structure a sense of aging sort of beauty. If a big band were to appear out of nowhere, they'd be at home here. If an ancient carousel rose from the ground a hundred yards or so away, it wouldn't be out of place.

The Beach (or Beaches for pluralist) is the one part of Toronto that truly has a west coast feel to it, whether it's because of the level of the land or proximity to the lake or the rise of the streets heading north, I don't know. The vibe is brilliant and Kew Gardens seems to be it's beating heart.

Flash Fiction Friday

2009-07-11T09:04:00.001-04:00

So I read the instructions wrong, kinda misunderstood the assignment. I had 1,000 words to play with but only thought I had 100. So here's my error:
===================================
Winter sleeps under skin, under the last contrived epidermal layer. All the other statues stand jealous in their heat for no one reaches out a curious hand to stroke calf or hand or hem.

“What does it feel like?” he asks, but her steel lips don’t answer. Only the hum of a generator and the coolant rushing through an approximation of veins fills the silence between them.

He reaches a tentative hand to hers, the temperature foreign. “How People Felt When There Was Snow” does not flinch away, but stares into the tomorrow when she will contain more life he.

Environmental Product Review #1: Our first LED lightbulb

2009-07-06T22:46:00.005-04:00

The spiral glow of a CFL may be an icon in the green energy movement but I just don't like them. They consume less energy and make a good environmental choice on that level, but they suck in that they contain mercury, requiring special precautions when they break or are disposed and also that they can burn out spectacularly & pose fire hazards Incandescent bulbs are being phased out in Ontario by 2012, though, so we needed an option.

For the past year I've been emailing green stores in Toronto saying "are we there yet", looking for a reasonably priced residential LED bulb. Given that an LED bulb can last 10K hours or more and draws about 6 watts, reasonably priced is still pretty freaking high which seems to have kept them out of reach for local retailers. Finally, at the green living show I found the wise and very friendly people at Green & Clean Energy Co. Ltd and their glorious $40 bulb.

Not a typo. Forty freaking dollars. Fortunately the wine garden was close at hand.

Took a deep breath and brought one home. My first impression was that I disagreed with the claim that they're balanced to sunlight. Sunlight on my planet doesn't look like this. This is a very bad photo, the light it cast is brighter than this, enough to see and read comfortably by. Still, you can see how it might give one the willies.

The plastic dome (cool to the touch) covers three tiny pin lights. (don't look directly at them, really really) Tinted domes are available to give a more incandescent glow but we went for the honest light. After about two days we agreed that it's better described as moonlight, perhaps a little poetic but just how it looks to us. Everything it illuminates looks clearer and more real than items in other rooms. As we've got used to the LED, the incandescent and CFL (don't like them, still have them, won a gift pack and don't like wasting resources) lights now look strange by comparison. And as we're able to we'll be replacing all bulbs with LEDs. We crunched the numbers on it and although the replacements will mean that the bulbs in each fixture will often cost more than the fixtures themselves, the energy savings alone pays for each bulb within the first one to two years. The bulbs may then last up to 20 years of nearly free light, which makes them initially expensive but excellent value.

Because we're nerds, we've even had friends and neighbours over to stare at our bulb. The general first impression is a) it's really nifty, b) it's too expensive and c) we're insane for having bought it. After explaining the value of it most people let up on point c and a little on point b, but it will likely take a price break to get these bulbs into the minds and then hands of the masses.

3 Day

2009-06-09T09:17:00.002-04:00

Last year was the first year I finished the 3 Day Novel contest. In January when I got a notice saying I'd received an honourable mention there was a lot of Muppet dancing going on. Scared the cat. Scared myself.

At the end of the contest I drank out of my NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) mug that read "Novelist Fuel" and had a rather intense moment. This 26K word, 110 page, flawed bit of Cthullu chic lit that ended with a chain saw meet elder god scene - that was the first book I wrote. Whole thing. Beginning, middle, end. My arms burned under the ice water wraps I'd kept on to keep writing. The rest of me buzzed with a new and volatile joy. So the "Honorable Mention" certificate, copy of Geist and free pizza coupon? Send me beyond time and space. And under the sofa, haven't really written since - but before the results came in I'd finished NaNo, so that's two manuscripts of dubious origin that I'm sitting on.

Yesterday I got an email from the gods of the 3 Day Novel contest. I think she's also known as Melissa. Anyway, it contained the epic sagas, distilled to 25 words each of three writers who'd polished off their 07 submissions and been since published. I think of how simply awful my entry was and is; finished and monumental in that respect but a readable story? Hrmph. Then I look at the still unused pizza coupon and think, "well, someone liked reading it". What part I don't know, but the only way to find out is to have another look. I'll revisit it.

The summer stretches ahead but being older now and this being Canada I know it will land squarely on the labour day weekend soon enough, a weekend in which I've foolishly booked two weddings. And I still want to enter. The transformation of time, stress and sweat into stories is an iridescent alchemy that I can't remember why I've resisted for so long. It's fun. I think it might be like surfing or lion taming or something. With coffee.

Lessons on leaving the house

2009-05-20T10:40:00.002-04:00

Went to the local convenience store for eggs this morning, making up a breakfast for me and the boy. Paid no heed to any sort of grooming, other than attempting to wet down the strange animal which has curled up on my head and called itself hair. My comfy jacket (with it's frayed sleeves) over a comfy sweater (with ketchup on the zipper). Sunny day, only 100 yards or so away from the house. Passing by two people on their way to work.

"Hey, that lady married me!" says the gent, waving and smiling at me. A groom, I remember the wedding well, he and his bride were beautiful, I was considerably better dressed. I grin back and wave, frayed sleeve held aloft, likely crumbs on my face from a piece of pre-breakfast toast I'd been excited about. Possibly a blob of marmalade between my teeth.

Walking away I thought, really shouldn't leave the house looking so disheveled. I've officiated ceremonies for enough people that running into them here and there is becoming more common. I mean, I will leave the house looking pre-rumpled, possibly in a house coat now and again, but I really, really shouldn't.

Writing on the go

2009-05-19T11:43:00.002-04:00

I have four half written short stories and two manuscripts to flesh out. I've had them for a while now. While they are outside my head stories and so almost real, they need work and my work habits need a bit of a make over.

For years I've wanted a laptop. I do have one, an elderly beast which must remain hooked up to life support to maintain signs of it's slow and plodding life. I call her Ethel, and am unsure of the integrity of the data she keeps. She's also an unwieldy girl who doesn't travel well. I've wanted a lighter, faster and portable laptop. Something to write in coffee shops in, or in parks. I used a Palm lifedrive for awhile, but it's had a stroke recently and prognosis is not good for a useful recovery. I'd nearly had myself convinced that a netbook would be an economical option before a friend (who knows me well and is fortunately unburdened with tact) told me on no uncertain terms that I was being an idiot. Laptops are expensive and out of range for my current income, but settling on tech isn't something I'm going to have long term patience with.

I think the reason I write better in coffee shops is a lack of discipline on my part. The chaos of the environment is external to me, none of my business. This forces me to focus on the page and story before me. At home all the chaos is my business, very distracting, this and that to do. Not a lot of writing gets done. Becoming a more disciplined person is harder than spending money on a solution, but of more long term benefit. I'm going to have to make a greater effort toward that at the home office.

And for the coffee shop writing which I seem to need? I have a lot of paper, and nicked a well made pen.

Celebrating Internatoinal Museum Day

2009-05-18T20:44:00.004-04:00

Apparently it's International Museum Day and it's also Victoria Day. Which means a lot of museums are closed. Here's some ideas of how to celebrate anyway:

1) Go to your nearest museum. If it's open, go in. If it's not, stare at the outside for a while and take a picture. If it's the ROM, marvel at the crystal entity that's crashed to earth and is slowly devouring the building.

2) Walk around your house and observe your own possessions from the stand point of a museum goer. Keep you hands behind your back and don't touch the objects. Mutter their histories aloud, marvel at their shapes and purposes. Appreciate their beauty.

3) For extra self curator fun, select a few items of particular interest, arrange them esthetically to catch the light and write place cards describing their real or imagined history. For example:

"EXHIBIT A: This Cuisinart coffee maker is a replica of a model which dated back to 2004, when it was purchased from the Hudsons Bay Company by persons traveling from a same sex wedding at the King Edward Hotel in downtown Toronto. The original coffee maker was lost in the great grounds backlog of 2007, and this replica was purchased using primarily empty beer bottles, the traditional form of Canadian currency. The Hudson's Bay Company is the department store which founded Canada. Same Sex weddings have been legal in Canada since 2003. The couple in question that day later went on to purchase Puma shoes. Not the chain, just two sets of sneakers. One of the party of travelers urinated in the correct receptacle of the King Edward Hotel following the ceremony."

Invite friends over to stare at the artifacts with you. Encourage them to take pictures.

4) If you find nothing about your house that's interesting, visit a friend. Or a neighbour you don't know very well. Point at their possessions and ask them "Tell me about this piece", nod and say "that's very interesting" in response to whatever they say. If they are able to guess that you're celebrating International Museum Day, give them a cookie.